Nothing stays the same

by annie bacon & her OSHEN

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about

This album is dedicated to anyone who needs what these songs have to give, in hopes that our loneliness and heartbreak and wonder and awe find bridges to each other.

credits

released July 19, 2019

There was a big crew involved in this album! So much gratitude.
Full credits at www.anniebacon.me/credits
Here it is in aggregate:

Musicians: Douglas Allen, Tal Ariel, Annie Bacon, Kevin Carducci, Omar Cuellar, Steve Daly, Paul Defiglia, Thomas Bryan Eaton, Erica Kane Fink, Rachel Garcia, Dan Ford, Elizabeth Greenblatt, Kira Hooks, Eric Andrew Kuhn, Jeremy Lyon, Jeremy Mulder, Henry Nagle, James Nash, Jessi Phillips, Meryl T. Press, Jon Radford, Thu Tran

Producers: Tal Ariel, Annie Bacon, Paul Defiglia, Karl Kaljoot

Engineers: Paul Defiglia (Sensitive Sound), Eric Andrew Kuhn, Peter Labberton (25th Street), David Luke (Opus), Henry Nagle (Hank's House), Marty Gray and Geoff Michael (Big Sky)

Mixing: Kelley Coyne, Eric Andrew Kuhn, David Luke (Opus), Scott McDowell (Hyde St), John Vanderslice (Tiny Telephone)

Mastering: Piper Payne (Neato) and Jeff Lipton (Peerless)

license

all rights reserved

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about

annie bacon & her OSHEN Ann Arbor, Michigan

Annie Bacon is a songwriter musician in Michigan. She aches for a more empathic humanity + her creativity orbits around this. She also composed a Folk Opera.

More at www.anniebacon.me

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Track Name: Better not begin
Wouldn't want to do
Wouldn't want to do
Wouldn't want to do
This to you

Wouldn't want my heart
To wander away
Fall out of love with you
Couldn't bear to think of dissolution

Cause how would I survive
If you wandered away
Fell out of love with me?
Can't even entertain the possibility

Better not begin
Better not begin
Better not begin at all
Better not begin to fall
Track Name: There is no way
There is no way to be free of you
No matter what I do

I can't tell you
But I can't keep from saying
Pressure builds
It's bullet strong
Pierce my heart
Before too long
Pierce my heart in any case
It's lose my heart or lose my place

There is no way to be free of you
No matter what I do

Dreams come
I'm running
Trying to find you
I have to tell
Cause if lucidity
Within a dream
Can free me
Of my confession
But I never seem to find you there
And I have looked everywhere for you

I never seem to find you there
And I have looked everywhere for you

But there is no way to be free of you
No matter what I do
Track Name: Nothing stays the same
The first part's when you notice walls surrounding everything
You wonder when they got there but the answer changes nothing

In time you find the strength to say the word out loud
You tell one person as a test you never tell it to a crowd

And then you cry it out (the will to die gets a sliver of a doubt)
And then you cry it out (the will to die gets a sliver of a doubt)

Above all you've gotta hold on to this little thing I'll tell
There's another chapter coming, there's a way out of the well
You can wait for the ropes to drop
Or you can wait for the will to climb
One of them will always come given enough time
Nothing stays the same
I swear that on my grave

The third part's tricky you can never tell when it's gonna come
The walls start getting shorter and you start to see the sun

Finally there's a reckoning this is where you need your friends
It's time to do the work to find out how this chapter ends

And then you cry it out (the will to live is finally winning out)
And then you cry it out (the will to live is finally winning out)

Above all you've gotta hold on to this little thing I'll tell
There's another chapter coming, there's a way out of the well
You can wait for the ropes to drop
Or you can wait for the will to climb
One of them will always come given enough time
Nothing stays the same
I swear that on my grave

Above all you've gotta hold on to this little thing I'll tell
There's another chapter coming, there's a way out of the well
You can wait for the ropes to drop
Or you can wait for the will to climb
One of them will always come given enough time
Nothing stays the same
Nothing stays the same
Nothing stays the same
I swear that on my grave
Track Name: I wanna die like Lou Reed
When my last breath’s upon me
When I’m ready to lay down
I want to stand up and walk outside
With my lover around
I want to sit in grass open eyed
I want to feel the sun
And with Tai Chi hands
I want to show death that it’s welcome

I want to die like Lou Reed died
I want to fly into the sun
But he was goddamned lucky to be alive
When his dying time had come

Of those who walked on his wild side
Not many stand still to face the fun
They hold their arms across their eyes
Blocked out fading friends
And me I’m stuck like Sunday morning
Afraid I’ve become that evil one
Who thinks that everything is dirt
And we can’t see one another

I want to die like Lou Reed died
I want to fly into the sun
But he passed through some unknown place
I’ve got to go before I’m done

What is a life in retrospect?
Is it a map or explanation?
Was it harshness, heroine
Or was death a staunch companion?

What is a life in retrospect?

What is a life in retrospect?
Is it a map or explanation?
Was it harshness, heroine
Or was death a staunch companion?

Or was death a staunch companion?

I want to die like Lou Reed died
I want to fly into the blue
But before I die I’ve got figure out
What Lou Reed knew

When our last breath’s upon us
When we’re ready to lay down
We’ll want to stand up and walk outside
With our lovers around
We’ll want to sit in grass open eyed
We’ll want to feel the sun
And with Tai Chi hands we’ll want to show
And with Tai Chi hands we’ll want to show
And with Tai Chi hands we’ll want to show
Death that it’s welcome
Track Name: What we said
I don’t wanna run around
I don’t wanna catch you on the phone after midnight
I don’t wanna be around
When you make the calls that break our commitment
I know that you have your ways
I know life is probably better off without you

I know what we said
Now until we’re dead

That’s like hands around your neck
You had to fatten up your deck, now don’t you?
A gambler’s never satisfied
Leave the table take the bride, but keep that Lady beside you
But now they say I’m weak in love
I’m the villain just because I won’t leave you
I know what we said
Now until we’re dead

At some point can we let this go?
Where’s the line and will I know?

I’ve done all I’m supposed to do
The perfect wife for years to you, but still you betray us
I’m suffering in silence now
I’ll suffer even more if I break our commitment
Before the eyes of man and God
I said I’d be there through it all
Until the last breath leaves my lips

I know what we said
Now until we’re dead
Track Name: In dreams
You're in the driveway with a fake knife
In a fake fight making knight moves
But then the knife is real and it stabs you
I'm trying to get through to save you

I'm on the telephone it won't go through
I'm trying to save you I can't seem to

But this is dreaming I've been sleeping
I am working through missing you
And when I wake up in a cold sweat
I'm relieved to be in this empty bed

Cause I never could get through to you
It's something only you can do

I never could get through to you
It's something only you can do

Last night in dreams you became a bird
And I released you
We are done now and I finally think I'm free
Track Name: Two way street
Well it seems to me
That I have overestimated my ability
To move you
The way that you’ve moved me
I guess I thought
That you were spending your sleep too
Dreaming of me
Like I am of you

But I see now you’re all good without me
I get it, no, you’ll get no fight from me

When love makes you
You never forget their face
When love breaks you
You carry it the rest of your days
But love’s not always a two way street
Love’s not always a two way street

I had a dream
You came to the window with a woman
And later that same week
You told me her name
I won’t be much
In the telling of your story
But after you
I’ll never be the same

But I see now you’re all good without me
I get it, no, you’ll get no fight from me

When the sound of the summer rain
On a tin roof sends you back in time
Is the hand that you're holding in that memory
Still mine?

Love’s not always a two-way street
That's how you can forget me
Track Name: Long road
It’s a long long road home
If you don’t know where you’re going
You never get the feeling
That you’re almost there

Every bend could be it
But then disappointment
Follows you
Damn near everywhere

You should really stop looking
They say “enjoy the journey”
But you were never one
For that hippy shit

It’s gonna be a tough night
Again tonight
You’ll just put your head down
And get through it

When we met I was 20
Didn’t know where I was going
I didn’t need nothing
But a mystery

You kept my bed warm
But every morning
You were
History

So I stopped calling
Wished you luck in love
Went on with my life
And settled down

Less than a year later
I had a baby
And thought of you
When I saw his smile

Everyone tells me
You’ll never be happy
Well maybe happy’s overrated
Anyway

But you don’t fool me
You get pleasure
From loving and leaving a woman
Every day

Without disappointment
You’d lose your compass
Be a leaf on the wind
In a hurricane

You live on bad luck
And the long road
Is the only one
That knows your name

You live on bad luck
And the long road
Is the only one
That will ever know your name
Track Name: Used to be the one
Used to be the one
Loving on the run
Never would stay
Unless I knew it wouldn't work out
Anyway

Now I have a man
He's the only love
I'll ever need again
But I can't say why

We're like two birds on a tree and we're singing the same old lullaby
We're like the ocean and the sky when we're sitting side by side
We're like metal in a fire burning for each other all the time
Track Name: Nikki's Song
Every Wednesday night
In the dim bar light and the dinner din
Bar man all in white
Fingers itching for his pen
College kids and radicals
Young republicans
Gather all ye strange of heart
The show's set to begin

Auburn curls a maiden's blouse
A strong and squareish jaw
She starts to sing you can't make out
What you heart from what you saw
Two hundred songs from memory
A hundred more from books
Singing Johnny Stevie George
And teasing tips from dirty looks

Well the world had Bowie & we had Nikki
And she made all the freaks feel fine
Born with the body of a boy, but she said
"the body of a boy isn't mine"

She lived out 50 years
Hiding from herself fraid of what she'd lose
But she so loved peace
That she gave up the war, gave up the war
And just like she feared
Her life fell apart
But that's the way she'd always say
You earn your Diamond Heart

Well the world had Bowie & we had Nikki
And she made all the freaks feel fine
Born with the body of a boy, but she said
"the body of a boy isn't mine"

And if you laid your fears at her feet
She would sing them back to their seeds
And then she'd turn the volume up
And fly into a solo
That would set the seeds on fire
Turn to the chorus
Sing to the heavens
Singing "have no fear!
have no fear!
have no fear!
have no fear!"

Well the world had Bowie & we had Nikki
And she made all the freaks feel fine
Born with the body of a boy, but she said
"the body of a boy isn't mine"

Well the world had Bowie & we had Nikki
And they made all us freaks feel fine
Track Name: Gallatin Pike
Driving Gallatin Pike in the middle of the night
And I don’t know which way to turn
Pawn shops and strip malls, a mirror of my life
I think of the forests I’ve burned
The hearts I’ve paved over
The men that I’ve spurned
And impossible daylight floods parking lots where
I’m haunted by so many lessons unlearned

A ghost town veneer of the plans I held dear
Is this what my life’s become?
Gallatin Pike in the middle of the night

Around me are places I’ve laid down at night
And I don’t even know what they’re named
Too tired for thinking about what’s really right
My rain-spitting tires get blamed
For the hearts I’ve paved over
Where concrete lays claim
And tomorrow’s reflected on both sides for miles
In the twisting arms of neon flame

Ghost town veneer of the plans I held dear
Is this what my life’s become?
Gallatin Pike in the middle of the night

What if I can’t get off?
What if this is my end?
Dead on the pavement as the road softly bends
With Title Loans’ my witness
And Dollar Store friends?

But as soon as I turn off I see front porches and lawns
I guess life is bigger than the sins of its pawns
The fears we hold on to don’t hold up for long
And Gallatin Pike’s just the name of this song
Isn’t it nice to find out, that sometimes we’re wrong?
Track Name: Wanted to love you more
When I look back on things honestly
I was wooed by how you looked at me
And I fooled myself from that very first night

They say Adonis would have envied you
You were cut from stone that much is true
And you were so hard to know
But we got tangled up together

It went on twice as long as it should
I kept hoping it would turn for the good
But when love exaggerates your highs and lows
It’s a matter of time before it implodes
I guess I wanted to love you
More than I really did

We lived on separate sides of the same room
But still lost track of who was whom
It’s amazing what you can assume

I remember once when you were angry
About that stupid room too messy
And I asked myself “Do I wanna marry this?”
No hesitation slowed my no

It went on twice as long as it should
I kept hoping it would turn for the good
But when love exaggerates your highs and lows
It’s a matter of time before it implodes
I guess I wanted to love you
More than I really did

When it was done I remember thinking about
How easy it was to get out
I guess loved never burrowed in too deep

Still I’ll never have such a lover again
And if that’s what counts you were the best of men
And I’ll save a thought of you for when
I get to the other side

It went on twice as long as it should
I kept hoping it would turn for the good
But when love exaggerates your highs and lows
It’s a matter of time before it implodes
I guess I wanted to love you
More than I really did

I guess I wanted to love you
More than I really did
Track Name: Learning as I go
My mama said it’s not polite to stare but I did
I stared at you the first time I saw you then ran off and hid
In the shed in your back yard

Thought I would die as the feelings grew
It was how ten year old me figured out
That love can really mess with you

See my mama told me (but she was wrong)
About all the good things in love songs
She meant the best but left out the rest
Now I’m learning as I go along

My mother told me not to write on my skin but I did
I wrote your name on my skin and I pushed the ink in
With the edge of a safety pin

Turns out that didn’t heal so well
It was how teenage me figured out
That love can really hurt like hell

See my mama told me (but she was wrong)
About all the good things in love songs
She meant the best but left out the rest
Now I’m learning as I go along

Now skin to skin and eye to eye
We're feeling so fine
And I say, Ohhhhhhh
This is what they're singing about

See my mama told me (she wasn’t wrong)
Bout all the things in love songs
She wanted the best so she left out the rest
She knew I’d learn it as I went along
She knew I'd learn it as I went along
And now I'm learning as I go along
Track Name: Next time you see me
Next time you see me
I'll have a baby in my arms
Will he be pretty?
Will she be smart?
Will he have any of your charms?

We'll have a house
With a garden out back
We'll grow cabbage
And spinach and kale
And that baby will follow
Her daddy around
Like they were attached
At the tail

Well I'm bound and determined
Not to let this broken heart ruin my plans
So the next time you see me
Honey you'll notice
I'll be with another man

It was your choice to leave
At the first sign of frost
Were you unhappy?
Were you just bored?
You never considered the cost

Well I'm bound and determined
Not to let this broken heart ruin my plans
So the next time you see me
Honey you'll notice
I'll be with another man

And that baby will know you
Next time we see you
As just another man

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