Nothing stays the same

by annie bacon & her OSHEN

/
1.
Wouldn't want to do Wouldn't want to do Wouldn't want to do This to you Wouldn't want my heart To wander away Fall out of love with you Couldn't bear to think of dissolution Cause how would I survive If you wandered away Fell out of love with me? Can't even entertain the possibility Better not begin Better not begin Better not begin at all Better not begin to fall
2.
There is no way to be free of you No matter what I do I can't tell you But I can't keep from saying Pressure builds It's bullet strong Pierce my heart Before too long Pierce my heart in any case It's lose my heart or lose my place There is no way to be free of you No matter what I do Dreams come I'm running Trying to find you I have to tell Cause if lucidity Within a dream Can free me Of my confession But I never seem to find you there And I have looked everywhere for you I never seem to find you there And I have looked everywhere for you But there is no way to be free of you No matter what I do
3.
The first part's when you notice walls surrounding everything You wonder when they got there but the answer changes nothing In time you find the strength to say the word out loud You tell one person as a test you never tell it to a crowd And then you cry it out (the will to die gets a sliver of a doubt) And then you cry it out (the will to die gets a sliver of a doubt) Above all you've gotta hold on to this little thing I'll tell There's another chapter coming, there's a way out of the well You can wait for the ropes to drop Or you can wait for the will to climb One of them will always come given enough time Nothing stays the same I swear that on my grave The third part's tricky you can never tell when it's gonna come The walls start getting shorter and you start to see the sun Finally there's a reckoning this is where you need your friends It's time to do the work to find out how this chapter ends And then you cry it out (the will to live is finally winning out) And then you cry it out (the will to live is finally winning out) Above all you've gotta hold on to this little thing I'll tell There's another chapter coming, there's a way out of the well You can wait for the ropes to drop Or you can wait for the will to climb One of them will always come given enough time Nothing stays the same I swear that on my grave Above all you've gotta hold on to this little thing I'll tell There's another chapter coming, there's a way out of the well You can wait for the ropes to drop Or you can wait for the will to climb One of them will always come given enough time Nothing stays the same Nothing stays the same Nothing stays the same I swear that on my grave
4.
When my last breath’s upon me When I’m ready to lay down I want to stand up and walk outside With my lover around I want to sit in grass open eyed I want to feel the sun And with Tai Chi hands I want to show death that it’s welcome I want to die like Lou Reed died I want to fly into the sun But he was goddamned lucky to be alive When his dying time had come Of those who walked on his wild side Not many stand still to face the fun They hold their arms across their eyes Blocked out fading friends And me I’m stuck like Sunday morning Afraid I’ve become that evil one Who thinks that everything is dirt And we can’t see one another I want to die like Lou Reed died I want to fly into the sun But he passed through some unknown place I’ve got to go before I’m done What is a life in retrospect? Is it a map or explanation? Was it harshness, heroin? Or was death a staunch companion? What is a life in retrospect? What is a life in retrospect? Is it a map or explanation? Was it harshness, heroin? Or was death a staunch companion? Or was death a staunch companion? I want to die like Lou Reed died I want to fly into the blue But before I die I’ve got figure out What Lou Reed knew When our last breath’s upon us When we’re ready to lay down We’ll want to stand up and walk outside With our lovers around We’ll want to sit in grass open eyed We’ll want to feel the sun And with Tai Chi hands we’ll want to show And with Tai Chi hands we’ll want to show And with Tai Chi hands we’ll want to show Death that it’s welcome
5.
What we said 03:49
I don’t wanna run around I don’t wanna catch you on the phone after midnight I don’t wanna be around When you make the calls that break our commitment I know that you have your ways I know life is probably better off without you I know what we said Now until we’re dead That’s like hands around your neck You had to fatten up your deck, now don’t you? A gambler’s never satisfied Leave the table take the bride, but keep that Lady beside you But now they say I’m weak in love I’m the villain just because I won’t leave you I know what we said Now until we’re dead At some point can we let this go? Where’s the line and will I know? I’ve done all I’m supposed to do The perfect wife for years to you, but still you betray us I’m suffering in silence now I’ll suffer even more if I break our commitment Before the eyes of man and God I said I’d be there through it all Until the last breath leaves my lips I know what we said Now until we’re dead
6.
In dreams 02:20
You're in the driveway with a fake knife In a fake fight making knight moves But then the knife is real and it stabs you I'm trying to get through to save you I'm on the telephone it won't go through I'm trying to save you I can't seem to But this is dreaming I've been sleeping I am working through missing you And when I wake up in a cold sweat I'm relieved to be in this empty bed Cause I never could get through to you It's something only you can do I never could get through to you It's something only you can do Last night in dreams you became a bird And I released you We are done now and I finally think I'm free
7.
Well it seems to me That I have overestimated my ability To move you The way that you’ve moved me I guess I thought That you were spending your sleep too Dreaming of me Like I am of you But I see now you’re all good without me I get it, no, you’ll get no fight from me When love makes you You never forget their face When love breaks you You carry it the rest of your days But love’s not always a two way street Love’s not always a two way street I had a dream You came to the window with a woman And later that same week You told me her name I won’t be much In the telling of your story But after you I’ll never be the same But I see now you’re all good without me I get it, no, you’ll get no fight from me When the sound of the summer rain On a tin roof sends you back in time Is the hand that you're holding in that memory Still mine? Love’s not always a two-way street That's how you can forget me
8.
Long road 02:42
It’s a long long road home If you don’t know where you’re going You never get the feeling That you’re almost there Every bend could be it But then disappointment Follows you Damn near everywhere You should really stop looking They say “enjoy the journey” But you were never one For that hippy shit It’s gonna be a tough night Again tonight You’ll just put your head down And get through it When we met I was 20 Didn’t know where I was going I didn’t need nothing But a mystery You kept my bed warm But every morning You were History So I stopped calling Wished you luck in love Went on with my life And settled down Less than a year later I had a baby And thought of you When I saw his smile Everyone tells me You’ll never be happy Well maybe happy’s overrated Anyway But you don’t fool me You get pleasure From loving and leaving a woman Every day Without disappointment You’d lose your compass Be a leaf on the wind In a hurricane You live on bad luck And the long road Is the only one That knows your name You live on bad luck And the long road Is the only one That will ever know your name
9.
Used to be the one Loving on the run Never would stay Unless I knew it wouldn't work out Anyway Now I have a man He's the only love I'll ever need again But I can't say why We're like two birds on a tree and we're singing the same old lullaby We're like the ocean and the sky when we're sitting side by side We're like metal in a fire burning for each other all the time
10.
Nikki's Song 03:37
Every Wednesday night In the dim bar light and the dinner din Bar man all in white Fingers itching for his pen College kids and radicals Young republicans Gather all ye strange of heart The show's set to begin Auburn curls a maiden's blouse A strong and squareish jaw She starts to sing you can't make out What you heart from what you saw Two hundred songs from memory A hundred more from books Singing Johnny Stevie George And teasing tips from dirty looks Well the world had Bowie & we had Nikki And she made all the freaks feel fine Born with the body of a boy, but she said "the body of a boy isn't mine" She lived out 50 years Hiding from herself fraid of what she'd lose But she so loved peace That she gave up the war, gave up the war And just like she feared Her life fell apart But that's the way she'd always say You earn your Diamond Heart Well the world had Bowie & we had Nikki And she made all the freaks feel fine Born with the body of a boy, but she said "the body of a boy isn't mine" And if you laid your fears at her feet She would sing them back to their seeds And then she'd turn the volume up And fly into a solo That would set the seeds on fire Turn to the chorus Sing to the heavens Singing "have no fear! have no fear! have no fear! have no fear!" Well the world had Bowie & we had Nikki And she made all the freaks feel fine Born with the body of a boy, but she said "the body of a boy isn't mine" Well the world had Bowie & we had Nikki And they made all us freaks feel fine
11.
Driving Gallatin Pike in the middle of the night And I don’t know which way to turn Pawn shops and strip malls, a mirror of my life I think of the forests I’ve burned The hearts I’ve paved over The men that I’ve spurned And impossible daylight floods parking lots where I’m haunted by so many lessons unlearned A ghost town veneer of the plans I held dear Is this what my life’s become? Gallatin Pike in the middle of the night Around me are places I’ve laid down at night And I don’t even know what they’re named Too tired for thinking about what’s really right My rain-spitting tires get blamed For the hearts I’ve paved over Where concrete lays claim And tomorrow’s reflected on both sides for miles In the twisting arms of neon flame Ghost town veneer of the plans I held dear Is this what my life’s become? Gallatin Pike in the middle of the night What if I can’t get off? What if this is my end? Dead on the pavement as the road softly bends With Title Loans’ my witness And Dollar Store friends? But as soon as I turn off I see front porches and lawns I guess life is bigger than the sins of its pawns The fears we hold on to don’t hold up for long And Gallatin Pike’s just the name of this song Isn’t it nice to find out, that sometimes we’re wrong?
12.
When I look back on things honestly I was wooed by how you looked at me And I fooled myself from that very first night They say Adonis would have envied you You were cut from stone that much is true And you were so hard to know But we got tangled up together It went on twice as long as it should I kept hoping it would turn for the good But when love exaggerates your highs and lows It’s a matter of time before it implodes I guess I wanted to love you More than I really did We lived on separate sides of the same room But still lost track of who was whom It’s amazing what you can assume I remember once when you were angry About that stupid room too messy And I asked myself “Do I wanna marry this?” No hesitation slowed my no It went on twice as long as it should I kept hoping it would turn for the good But when love exaggerates your highs and lows It’s a matter of time before it implodes I guess I wanted to love you More than I really did When it was done I remember thinking about How easy it was to get out I guess loved never burrowed in too deep Still I’ll never have such a lover again And if that’s what counts you were the best of men And I’ll save a thought of you for when I get to the other side It went on twice as long as it should I kept hoping it would turn for the good But when love exaggerates your highs and lows It’s a matter of time before it implodes I guess I wanted to love you More than I really did I guess I wanted to love you More than I really did
13.
My mama said it’s not polite to stare but I did I stared at you the first time I saw you then ran off and hid In the shed in your back yard Thought I would die as the feelings grew It was how ten year old me figured out That love can really mess with you See my mama told me (but she was wrong) About all the good things in love songs She meant the best but left out the rest Now I’m learning as I go along My mother told me not to write on my skin but I did I wrote your name on my skin and I pushed the ink in With the edge of a safety pin Turns out that didn’t heal so well It was how teenage me figured out That love can really hurt like hell See my mama told me (but she was wrong) About all the good things in love songs She meant the best but left out the rest Now I’m learning as I go along Now skin to skin and eye to eye We're feeling so fine And I say, Ohhhhhhh This is what they're singing about See my mama told me (she wasn’t wrong) Bout all the things in love songs She wanted the best so she left out the rest She knew I’d learn it as I went along She knew I'd learn it as I went along And now I'm learning as I go along
14.
Next time you see me I'll have a baby in my arms Will he be pretty? Will she be smart? Will he have any of your charms? We'll have a house With a garden out back We'll grow cabbage And spinach and kale And that baby will follow Her daddy around Like they were attached At the tail Well I'm bound and determined Not to let this broken heart ruin my plans So the next time you see me Honey you'll notice I'll be with another man It was your choice to leave At the first sign of frost Were you unhappy? Were you just bored? You never considered the cost Well I'm bound and determined Not to let this broken heart ruin my plans So the next time you see me Honey you'll notice I'll be with another man And that baby will know you Next time we see you As just another man

about

This album is dedicated to anyone who needs what these songs have to give, in hopes that our loneliness and heartbreak and wonder and awe find bridges to each other.

credits

released July 19, 2019

There was a big crew involved in this album! So much gratitude.
Full credits at www.anniebacon.me/credits
Here it is in aggregate:

Musicians: Douglas Allen, Tal Ariel, Annie Bacon, Kevin Carducci, Omar Cuellar, Steve Daly, Paul Defiglia, Thomas Bryan Eaton, Erica Kane Fink, Rachel Garcia, Dan Ford, Elizabeth Greenblatt, Kira Hooks, Eric Andrew Kuhn, Jeremy Lyon, Jeremy Mulder, Henry Nagle, James Nash, Jessi Phillips, Meryl T. Press, Jon Radford, Thu Tran

Producers: Tal Ariel, Annie Bacon, Paul Defiglia, Karl Kaljoot

Engineers: Paul Defiglia (Sensitive Sound), Eric Andrew Kuhn, Peter Labberton (25th Street), David Luke (Opus), Henry Nagle (Hank's House), Marty Gray and Geoff Michael (Big Sky)

Mixing: Kelley Coyne, Eric Andrew Kuhn, David Luke (Opus), Scott McDowell (Hyde St), John Vanderslice (Tiny Telephone)

Mastering: Piper Payne (Neato) and Jeff Lipton (Peerless)

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annie bacon & her OSHEN Ann Arbor, Michigan

Annie Bacon is a songwriter musician in Michigan. She aches for a more empathic humanity + her creativity orbits around this. She also composed a Folk Opera.

More at www.anniebacon.me

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